Love Vs Fear

Love vs. Fear: The Ultimate Showdown

Being human can be tough.

It's like trudging through mud and within this circus, there are two main forces controlling the show: Love and Fear. These two emotions have a lot to say about how we live, what we do, and who we end up being. Understanding the difference between them—really understanding—could seriously change your life. So, let's break it down, shall we?

What is Love?

Love is like a giant bowl of Mac n Cheese that makes everything better. Love is expansive, nurturing, and yes, lush (like, seriously lush, the kind of lush that makes you feel like you're living in a Rom-com). When you're in love, life feels like it has meaning. It's the force that connects you to other humans, to your wildest passions, and even to yourself. It pushes you to chase your dreams, hug everyone, including the postman and tell that person you like them (or at least like like them). Love is all about growth, understanding, and throwing yourself into things with your heart wide open—because what’s life without a little risk?

What is Fear?

Fear, on the other hand, is like that old, nagging voice in your head that tells you not to eat that last slice of pizza because you'll regret it. As if anyone regrets that last slice. It’s constricting, protective, and often based on things that might not even happen. Fear paralyzes you. It keeps you in your tiny, safe bubble where you know exactly what to expect (and by “exactly,” I mean Netflix, comfies and nothing new ever). Fear is like that clingy ex who won’t let go, constantly reminding you that something could go wrong—so why try anything at all? No growth here. Just a lot of sitting still and wondering what could have been.

How Love and Fear Impact Our Decisions:

Love:

When we decide from a place of love, it’s like jumping into the deep end of a pool... without knowing how to swim. But love gives us that nice little push to just do it. You take risks because you’re like, “Hey, maybe it’ll work out—who knows, this could be amazing!”

You might take a chance on a relationship and, yes, even tell someone you like them (bold move).

You open up emotionally, because why hide behind that “I’m fine” mask when you could be living your truth?

You might act with kindness, thinking about others and spreading positive vibes - note how someone confident walks in a room you can’t help but feel that?

You might even fall in love, and instead of freaking out, you leap in like an excitable toddler, hoping that the experience—whether it works out or not—is worth it.

Fear:

Ah, fear. The ultimate buzzkill. The record abruptly ends. When fear is in charge, it's like living in a cotton wool ball. You know the type-safe, but also boring. Here’s what fear does to your decision-making:

Fear tells you to stay in your comfort zone, like a warm, cosy blanket—except you can’t move, and the world keeps passing you by. You’re not getting younger.

Fear makes you emotionally closed off like a safe with a 17-digit combination, keeping you from being vulnerable and connecting with people.

It convinces you that past failures should haunt you forever.

It could even make you avoid love entirely, because, well, what if they reject you? Or worse—what if you get too attached? And then there’s the career part: “Don’t ask for that raise, don’t try that new project... what if they laugh at you?” Fear loves to put a stop to your dreams before you even have a chance to chase them.

Love vs. Fear in Relationships

In healthy relationships, love creates an open, nurturing space where both people can be themselves—no pretences, no drama (okay maybe a smidge to start with). You take risks together, communicate like adults, and support each other when things get tough. You might even talk about your feelings.

In relationships dominated by fear, it’s a different story. There’s jealousy (yikes), possessiveness (just no), and a bunch of emotional barricades. Fear makes you act defensive, skeptical, and like you're constantly preparing for a breakup. Communication falls apart, and soon enough, both people feel like they’re walking on eggshells, waiting for something to break. I’ve been there.

How Love and Fear Impact Your Life

In Careers

Love in your career is like finding a job that feels right. You wake up excited (or, at least, not wanting to throw your alarm clock across the room). You take risks—whether it’s speaking up in meetings, asking for a raise, or starting that side hustle because why not? You believe you’re worthy of success and won’t settle for the first boring job that comes your way. Love gives you the courage to go after what you really want, knowing it’s worth the plunge.

Fear in your career? Not so much. Fear has you staying in that soul-sucking job because “at least it’s stable.” Fear makes you avoid promotions, put off asking for a raise, and keeps you from applying for that new job that could be amazing. The worst part? It’s the “what if” voice in your head—What if I fail? What if I look stupid? What if they hate me? Fear doesn’t leave room for growth, just stagnation. And we all know how fun stagnation is—said no one ever.

Shifting from Fear to Love

So, how do we stop letting fear call the shots and make love our new coach? Well, it’s a process, but here’s a start:

Face Your Fears: The first step is to call out fear. Name it. “Hello, fear, I see you and I know you’re trying to control me. Not today!” Is it failure? Rejection? The unknown? Once you know what you're afraid of, it’s easier to tackle it head-on.

Challenge Your Limiting Beliefs: Fear loves to tell you that you can’t do something, that you're not good enough, or that it's too risky. Well, guess what? Those beliefs are lies. Ask yourself: “What if this goes right?” Spoiler alert: it likely will and it’s all growth.

Be Kind to Yourself: Okay, this is where the self-love comes in. Fear often thrives when we’re mean to ourselves. You wouldn’t talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself, right? So stop it. Be patient. Mistakes are part of the deal, and they don’t mean you’re doomed forever.

Open Yourself Up to Love: Vulnerability? Scary, but worth it. Let yourself be open to new connections, both with others and with yourself. Trust that the universe (or your gut) has your back. Take that emotional leap—you’ll be glad you did.

Celebrate YOU: Put up post-its everywhere with things you love about yourself. Remind yourself how wonderful you are and hurdles you’ve overcome before. Celebrate your wins, no matter how small.

You Can Do This: And remember, it’s never too late to change. Love is always a better option than fear. So, go out there and chase your dreams with a heart full of optimism and a positive mind set. Change your mindset - change your life.

And that’s it. Time to stop letting fear call the shots and start living your life like you actually believe good things are coming your way. Just remember: Life is too short to sit around worrying about burnt toast. Go for it!